MATH- The demonic entity


Heart leaping out of chest, blood pressure rising, sweat dripping down the forehead while the pen stayed trembling in the hands, staring at the notebook’s blank pages. This was the effect of TRYING to do MATH.

Since the time math was designed (by the hands of the devil himself of course), it has made students like me cry and curse our fates and question God that what had we ever done to anybody to deserve such a magnified form of punishment that stayed in our lives for at least 10-12 years.

For a long long time, the student race has been subjected to unspeakable forms of torture at the hands of the demonic entity, known to mankind as mathematics. Okay, so maybe I am exaggerating a little bit. Many students all over the world find mathematics ‘not so easy’. I had a cycle of emotions at play before, during and after a math paper which usually involved, crying, blankly staring at walls and crying some more. But now that math and I have parted our ways, realizing that there was no point of being in an abusive relationship, I now understand what I was so scared of. It has been two blissful years, and now come to think of it, I never really gave math a chance, or the time it needed. So at some point it’s my fault too.

Unlike other subjects, math doesn’t seem to interest most of us. It doesn’t tell us about Tom Sawyer whitewashing his fence or about Alice falling down the rabbit hole, It doesn’t tell us about pharaohs and kings and empires, it doesn’t tell us what evolution is or that everything around is made up of atoms and molecules. It is just a bunch of numbers crammed up together with alphabets and sometimes JUST alphabets (Oh the horror! )that we are supposed to bring to a required answer. How does it expect us to be interested?

Two years have passed and I still get jittery and queasy at the thought of solving a sum. Then again my fear is my mistake. Math, like every other subject, needs time, patience, practice. I gave it none of the above like most of us. But is it really our fault for not “liking” a subject? We can only force ourselves to a certain extent to do anything. We can’t force ourselves to like something we simply don’t. Knowing a basic level of math is important, i am not denying that, but that doesn’t mean I have to spend my life trying to do trigonometry or integrating/differentiating any equation, that God forbid, I come across.

None of us should study anything we don’t like because that results in complete repulsion towards the subject and our opinions become biased. I can vouch that this indeed is a fact.

So if you are a person like me, whose worst nightmares are number and alphabets or unknown values of ‘x’ screaming at you “solve me! solve me!”, I say to you, or rather, I assure you, you’re not the only one. But I guess it is our fault for feeding this demon with our fear. So let us all pick up our pens and slay this demon and let him know that his presence doesn’t scare us anymore.



P.S: Yeah I got a semester of math this semester in college so looks like I’ll be meeting the demon again. So good luck to me and to you all! 🙂


Am I perfect now?


Late night studying, few hours of sleep, *wakes up*, bathe, *skips breakfast* (Might go fat), makeup time, foundation, concealer, liner, mascara, lipstick, hair-straightening, *changes a million outfits* Stands in front of society:

Perfect. What is this perfect? What is my definition of perfect might not be the same as someone else’s For me a perfect looking girl might have straight, long hair. For someone else she might have short curls.  When the word itself can’t decide what it is meant to be, how does the society expect us to be this word?

What is perfection? I question again. Is it being skinny? If so, then why are the skinny girls being called anorexic while at the same time others are being labelled as “fat”? Everyday thousands of girls are skipping meals. They’re living in this constant fear that if they eat one full meal they’ll become “fat” and be rejected by their peer group and be ridiculed at because this is in fact the present day reality, sadly. Fashion conscious mothers are subjecting their daughters to cosmetic surgeries out of this fear of rejection to meet today’s unrealistic beauty standards, to get them to be “perfect”


Now, if by some miracle, you have the “society approved perfect body”, it’ll be something else that won’t be perfect. It maybe your skin, your nose, your eyes, your height. If there are 50 people complimenting there is one person who finds some fault. And then life becomes a series of processes, trying to render that “fault” away, to conceal it, and somehow reach “perfect” again. Once this one person is satisfied, there is another one with some other fault because again his definition of perfect would be something else.

The world’s depiction of perfect is so unreal that it has left millions of girls doubting themselves. It has made then so self conscious that today 15-16 years old think a hundred times before consuming a snack which reads ‘carbs’ or ‘fats’ And just FYI, those teen fashion magazines aren’t much help either. It at one place there is an ad saying “Love your body as it is” then why is there a photoshopped, skinny model next to it? Does that mean THAT is how a normal everyday girl is supposed to look like? If that is so, then I am way beyond “normal”

Perfection has become an obsession. It is all about trying to impress. Either through your pictures which spend hours on photoshop before being uploaded in order to be molded in that “perfect” picture, or through ourselves by subjecting our face, our body to heaps and heaps of synthetic, chemical cosmetic products.

What are we all obsessing over this much? There is no ugly, there is no beautiful. It is the society which has manipulated us to such an extent that we doubt ourselves every time we scrape through the magazines.

How can someone achieve something that isn’t even static, that isn’t the same to everyone. We all doubt ourselves at some point, we all question ourselves and that is OKAY! Self criticism is good too but only as long as we do not turn it into an everyday chore. 🙂

To hell with what the society thinks. Let us all be our definition of perfect. Because we all are special in our very own way.


The neighbor’s son got 98% why didn’t you?

“Arre tumne suna, Mr Sharma ke bete Bittu ke 98% aye!” *looks at me* “tumne bhi Bittu jitna padha hota to tumhare bhi itne aate”

Translation: ” Did you hear, Mr. Sharma’s son, Bittu scored a 98%” “If only you had studied like him you would have scored good as well”

The board exams will soon be over and the results will be out, and such remarks could be heard reverberating in every Indian household because there always will be an asshole “Bittu” in your neighborhood or relation who will upstage you when it comes to marks. I am not Bittu, I am me, I did the best I could. Screw Bittu and his marks!

After movies like “Taare Zameen Par” and “3 Idiots”, we thought maybe Aamir Khan’s efforts would have some effect on the way people thought and just maybe they’ll understand that not everyone of us is a Chatur Ramalingam or Ishan Avasthi’s brother! But that doesn’t mean we won’t succeed in life! Do our marksreally define our intelligence or merely our retention capacity?

Who is to say that a 98 percent scorer would DEFINITELY be a billionaire and that, say, an 80 percent scorer won’t? Who’s giving that guarantee?

Today’s world is highly competitive. It’s not just studies that one has to excel at. Parents want us to be a good sportsperson, spokesperson, singer, dancer, painter…. but RELAX PEOPLE!!! We are one person, a single being, WE CAN’T DO IT ALL! It’s time to understand this.

The pressures of the exams are not the only ones in a student’s life. There is always the pressure to look good, to appeal to a certain someone, to stay in touch with the latest happenings, friendship, relationship, family! A student is under THIS much pressure. And when it comes to examinations, the pressure of it alone is enough to drive the student off the edge and it is doing so! Students are committing suicide because they couldn’t fulfill the ‘over expectations’ of their parents or because they couldn’t get into that premium institute.

I say this as a fellow student who went through the “doomsday” ordeals (Yes I mean result declaration day -_- ) . The results are out, badgering us, comparing our scores, all this won’t change the marks on our mark-sheet. It won’t change who we are, so accept us and see where we rise up to.

And for God’s sake, don’t let “Bitto’s” marks or any Tom, Dick or Harry’s marks or the annoying neighborhood auntie’s taunting remarks make you doubt yourself, for all you know, you just might be Bitto for someone else in some other aspect of your life. 🙂

The harassed student