Dear 15: A letter to myself

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Dear 15,
I know you’re scared, insecure and unsure about all the things in your life. You are probably thinking about how worthless you are at this moment as we speak with hot tears rolling down the side, wetting the pillow you’re laying your head on, not sobbing, just the tears and the feeling of utter despair eating you on the inside. You’re thinking about the incident, blaming yourself for it, because nobody told you otherwise (because you didn’t tell anyone). You think the world has ended for you just because someone told you that you weren’t pretty, just because you couldn’t wrap your head around that math problem, just because you got rejected. You think nothing will ever change and that you’ll be good for nothing, you feed these thoughts, day after day and will soon accept it to be a fact that you’re good for nothing. At this point you’re probably wondering if things have changed. If you’re suddenly become famous or turned into a genius overnight ir at least an internet meme. Here’s your answer; no, things haven’t changed and you’re DEFINITELY not an internet meme.
You still get rejected once in a while, you are still conscious of how you look, you still open the door of dark thoughts once in a while and flood yourself with worries and YES YOU STILL SUCK AT MATH. But you know what has changed baby girl?
When you get rejected you take it more sportingly now (You know rejections are a part of your life), you get conscious about how you look but it’s not often and you don’t let yourself be defined by your looks. You know now that there will always be someone prettier, smarter, better and you’ve made your peace with that. You still get anxious oh and it still gets bad but now you actually talk to your friends about it (okay so you still don’t open up completely but at least you’ve come this far. We’re working on it). As for the math thing? Nah you still suck at it. But it doesn’t bother you anymore because you finally found your calling and you LOVE IT! I won’t tell you what it is you’ll find it out on your own and it will become a very special memory baby girl! Also you’ve started doing so many things that were out of your comfort zone! I am so proud of who you are turning out to be. Yes, you read it right, I am proud of you! It is because of who you are that you’ll turn out to be the person you’ve always wanted to be.
Oh and one last thing love, you’re not worthless. You’re a damn, freaking awesome supernova.

With love,
21.

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Drowning beneath the waves

Today, let us talk about something people usually refuse to talk about. Let us talk about depression. Not a pleasant topic to talk about and definitely not something pleasant to go through but sometimes there are such circumstances or happenings that drives one to such a place where it feels like there’s no way out. Where it feels like we’re all alone even amongst a crowd, like we’re invisible. That’s not how one should feel like. Ever.
Depression is an ugly truth of the present day world. According to WHO, globally 350 MILLION people of all ages suffer from depression. Suicide results in estimated 1 MILLION DEATHS EVERY YEAR.
Three hundred and fifty million affected and ONE MILLION lives lost every year.
What has happened? Why is that people are left to feel like there’s no way out of their problems? And why is it still being ignored?!
If someone is hurt physically, there are 10 people to ask about the injury. There are as many there to tend to that injury. However when it comes to mental pain suddenly nobody can notice? Suddenly, it isn’t real? And one automatically becomes “crazy” or said to be “asking for attention”
No. Just because it is not visible doesn’t mean it isn’t real.
Depression is like an entity that stays latched on to you 24×7 and sucks the happiness out of your life! Every happy thought that comes is sucked out and one is left feeling hollow. It feels like one is drowning in the ocean while dying from thirst at the same time. It isn’t a pleasant scenario but it definitely isn’t anybody’s cry for attention!

It is a burden that an individual carries and it is ultimately up to them to drop it and if there’s help it’s definitely a boon.
The trick is that as long as you know who you are and what makes you happy, it doesn’t matter how others see you or think about you. Moreover it is very important to know that opening up about your feelings DOES NOT make you weak. It DOES NOT make you a coward. Sure it might make you vulnerable but it is a better alternative to bottling up all those feelings.
Don’t ever shy away from how you feel. Feeling sad is nothing to be ashamed of. They are your scars, but every hero bears the scars of his or her battles. Those scars are a proof. That you fought and you won. Be proud.

Talk before it is too late. Be healthy. Be happy. Your life is a blank canvas and you are the artist. Go create some art, make it a masterpiece. But remember that like any art, not everyone will understand it, not everyone would appreciate it but there will be some for whom it will be the most beautiful and exquisite thing ever! Don’t stop the masterpiece from happening. Don’t deprive the world of your beauty.

Stand up.

We talk about so many things. End number of debates about what’s happening in the world. We’ll sit and discuss what is wrong with the society and how some people are wrong for doing a particular thing. We like Facebook posts that talk about such injustice and prejudices and what not but what about actually standing up for something happening right in front of us or something that may even involve us? Think about it, how many times do we actually stand up for something we feel is wrong, something happening right in front of us. Does one speak up?
Think. The answer is NO. One doesn’t. Reasons? “Not my problem”, ” It’ll sort itself out”, “Dusre ke phatay mein kaun pade” (Translation: why meddle with something that doesn’t concern us). Sure, everyone is ready to stand by and witness everything happening, because that doesn’t require any efforts at all! But does one speak up? No. But sure, everyone will like those Facebook posts talking about respect and equality and write tremendously long comments ridden with such passionate wording that just tugs at the hearts. Hidden in the veil of annonimity, that’s when one chooses to actually speak up, on a post, about a stranger, to a bunch of other stranger. How about speaking up as yourself in front of people who you know! It might not be easy. Sometimes it will be people we know, maybe our friends or even family. That shouldn’t be a reason to shy away but rather it is all the more reason to speak up and make the person realise what they’ve said or done. And this shouldn’t be taken as an insult or an attempt to make them feel bad. The fact is one will try to make you see their view point only if you matter to that person. So understand that.

But what i dont get is that why is everyone so scared to stand up for what is right? How did we all end up here? How have we become tolerant of things that ought not to be tolerated?
And it just doesn’t end here. Nobody speaks up when the situation demands, most people don’t; of course there are a few who will, no one is denying that but then they are also the ones who’ll be chided later about what they said or what they did. And God forbid, does the actual person in question (who’s being wronged) speaks up for themselves, that will be “over reacting to the situation”. Standing up for one self is not over reacting.
Be it a man, woman or child, anyone can be wronged at any time and it wouldn’t matter, there will always be people witnessing and doing nothing about it. So here’s my message to anyone who’s stuck with me till here, stop tolerating! If you find something to be wrong SPEAK UP and don’t ever think that standing up for someone else ” isn’t your problem “, it might not be your problem today but it might be tomorrow.
And whatever happens, be there for yourself, when nobody is speaking for you, have the courage to do it yourself because it is rightly said, ” You’ve got to be your own hero because everyone is trying to save themselves ”

-A dedication to someone who stood up for themselves. 🙂

Leave me alone!!

You’re sitting, don’t feel like talking, every second thing irritates you, you’re feeling low and there is absolutely nothing wrong! So, what’s up with you? Nothing, it’s just one of those days.

It is normal to feel low sometimes and people need to understand that. We can’t be cheerful all 365 days. Sometimes we need a day or two to just deal with our thoughts, deal with ourselves. Nobody pissed us off, no we aren’t angry with anyone, we just want to be left alone, stop pestering us with your constant unwanted comfort. You see us sitting there, already kind of snappy, leave us alone! Why irritate us and give us reason to shout at you? You see us sitting there, by ourselves and you start wondering, “he/she has been perfectly alright nothing’s wrong with them then why are they sitting like that?”, if you’re thinking this, you are right, there is nothing wrong with us or in our life so, just walk away. We won’t be mad at you for not asking us those formality based questions. We would rather be glad that you understand us enough to know when we need time to ourselves. 

For God’s sake, even Superman has a fortress of solitude; if the man of steel feels the need to be left alone sometimes with his thoughts and enjoy the solitude then so do we!

We all need sometimes to ourselves to reflect on our thoughts, to think about the things we do or the things we have done. We may even appear to be sad but that sadness is ours to deal with and nobody else’s. Instead of smothering anyone with your concerns try to understand when a particular person needs there space. You may not know this, but we will be grateful for the understanding on your part. 

We’d be back to our normal selves in in a day or two, so don’t worry, because it just was, one of those days. 🙂

Must You ALWAYS Cross Your Eyes And Dot All Your Teas?? YES!

One of the best things I have read so far!

Once Upon Your Prime

photo-253 Here is a fact:  If you have OCD (Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder) or are a Perfectionist or even just Superstitious,  (heaven help you if you’re all three!) you will waste spend a lot more time on your blog than the typical person.  There are even sub-sets of related problems that bloggers can develop and not ever realize they are afflicted.  Read on to see if you recognize yourself in any of these 10 maladies.

1.  The Compulsive Commenter Syndrome (extra 10 minutes)  Before you leave a comment on someone else’s blog, you absolutely MUST read what other readers have already said about it, otherwise you could duplicate their remarks or just sound terribly boring in comparison.  Add on another ten minutes if the person’s blog already has over twenty comments.

2.  The Crime of the Rhyme – – (extra 8 minutes)  You get caught up in rhyming, especially your titles. Kind of…

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Misunderstood Monday

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Made fun of, hated on, being the butt of all kinds of jokes; poor, poor Monday. Now it isn’t his fault that he happens to come just after weekends.

Frankly, we all hate Mondays. Enjoying two days of peace or partying and then waking up early and going to work with our faces dropped down, feeling sleepy and drowsy. We hate it, heck! Even our most favorite cat Garfield hates it. As the Sunday draws to an end, a feeling of panic sets in, we suddenly remember all the work that is due and start thinking about all those weekdays ahead of us and just pray for Friday to come. It’s 1:00 am and we’re still awake, fretting the morning ahead of us and just as our eyes close, the shrill ringing of the alarm clock wakes us up and thus begins the never ending, gloomy Monday. We drag ourselves out from the comfortable arms of our darling bed who still wants to cuddle with us, and somehow make it up to the washroom and take a bath, put on our uniforms/suits maybe catch up on breakfast and off we are. Still tired and irritated and cursing Monday. We reach our destinations and thus commence the never ending day.

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 Let us take a review of what we did. We slept late, so obviously we are tired the next day, less sleep makes us cranky and snappy then why are we blaming Monday? The truth is, none of us likes to believe that we can be wrong. Come on, which one of us has made a mistake and thought at the very first instant “oh that must be our fault.” It’s human nature to try to put the blame on to somebody else and so we do even if it happens to be a day.

Okay, now let’s think about it from another perspective, had it been Tuesday that came after Sunday or even Friday, we would have hated it too. So come to think about it, we don’t really hate poor Monday, we hate the idea of any day which comes after holidays and vacations.

The truth is, none of us wants to work and none of us wants to wake up early by choice. We do it because we have to. Whether it is waking up early for school or college, to get a good education or going to our jobs, because we need to earn or to tend to our kids so that they can be on time, we are doing it all for ourselves and yet hating on a day who is just helping us getting started up for the rest of the week. Now is it really fair on our part to hate it?

Of course, we might not come to love it like our darlings Fridays and Saturdays but at least we could give it some credit for helping us. So let us all welcome Monday with open arm!! Um okay, maybe not, but at least we can try to be more accepting of it and find our very own ways to deal with it because let’s face it, Mondays aren’t going anywhere!

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